Needs versus wants 2.0 - re-imagined for high performance
May 30, 2023
As I work with clients on their (and my own) performance, I have been paying increasing attention to the power of the universe and my interaction with it. One of those areas for constant review is the notion of Needs versus Wants and how they relate to high performance.
If we think about Needs versus Wants, the list can sometimes become a bit blurry. Many people are often full of Wants and not super clear on their Needs. They feel unfulfilled, always chasing more stuff, but also being pulled in multiple directions because they are chasing so many things. They aren’t sure which are the important things to chase so they just don’t know what to stop and start doing - leading to burnout. They also feel like they have to “keep up” with friends, partners, colleagues who are also full of needs and wants which muddies the waters in terms of clarity leading to resentment, jealousy and all sorts of other emotions.
In the world of high performance, Needs are the essentials that help you move closer to your goals of becoming the person you want to be. Wants are things that make the journey more palatable and enjoyable - but they are not mandatory for you to make progress.
Once we are clear on this differentiation, we grab pen and paper and start making 3 lists. What do I Need from Myself, from My Career, and from My Network.
- Myself = my mind, body, and well being.
- My career = the way I financially support myself and provide security and stability.
- My network = my relationships, social circle, colleagues etc.
Normally people create lists of things they Need, and gradually we strike out a few (the Wants in disguise) and end up with the dream list of items which often sound something like this:
“I need good health and sufficient money to survive and to be surrounded by people I love and care about”.
Obviously, lists vary but the point is that most people’s Needs are mostly self-focused and often very big picture. They miss the habits and actions required to deliver those Needs and so don’t really provide the guidance or pathway to achieving them. That requires some harder, deeper thinking.I use the term De-personalised Reflection to describe what needs to happen. Imagine yourself watching a dog trying to jump across a stream to get to the other side. They keep running back and forth, knowing the current is too fast and the water too cold and deep to swim across. You see them getting more and more frustrated and agitated. The dog is thinking, “I need to cross this stream”
Now if you step back from the immediate task at hand, you may see a bridge, or a log or something which can help the situation for the dog. What is actually needed is another way to help the dog cross the stream. Stepping back from the immediate need and working out what the situation Needs to get the best outcome helps with identifying the real Needs to achieve.
The same applies to us - what does my Self situation Need in order to create the future I want? Our “doggy” brain says “I need health”, but if we step away, what does the situation we operate in require in order for us to have a more successful Self?
- I need to exercise more and eat better.
- I need to drink less alcohol.
- I need to stop making poor behaviour choices.
- I need to plan my groceries so I don’t get caught short and buy fast food.
- I need to take time for my well-being and mental wellness
- I need time out to recharge without feeling guilt
You have to be honest - which is why we need to look at our situation like we looked at the dog’s. It was obvious to us what the dog needed to help the situation. Now we just need to get through our own ego to be really honest with what we Need.
Being really clear on these three areas of Needs allows you to focus on what’s super essential to your success and provide tangible actions for you to work on. This helps create forward momentum and fulfillment which people Need to be high performers.
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