3 more compassionate ways to approach people who are learning something new

It happens to us all. At some point we have to learn a new skill and all those experiences, skills and mental models we have relied on to get us through previously, just don't work. In fact we know from Neuroscience and preference based models like HBDI, that we tend to use the neural links which work well for us, further reinforcing them. So to create new paths is difficult, and often tiring.

That is what I have been experiencing daily for the last few weeks. I have signed up for intensive Spanish classes whilst running my business. I can honestly say that the last time I learned a language I was still in school; and I still don't speak great English - let alone anything else. The experience prompted me to think about how this frustration and mental fatigue can occur for someone who is struggling with something new whether at work or elsewhere and how we all can be kinder rather than getting frustrated with them.

We all have a tendency in a busy world to expect people to:

The fact that there are three business bingo phrases specifically related to it kinda reinforces the point to me. So here are some challenges and kinder approach suggestions you may wish to adopt:

CHALLENGE - Accept that people in this state are going to be slower than you may like.

People learning something completely new are experiencing their brain re-wire itself to link pieces of information that have never been connected before. Imagine a person with a severed spinal chord having to learn to walk again. It takes this kind of effort to create new neural paths. Don't let this frustrate you - try to help them.

IDEA 1 - Try and find alternative ways to explain concepts more simply. Frame things differently, use metaphors, diagrams, videos - whatever it takes to help them see through the haze. Also, importantly, give them sufficient time to build the foundations of their new knowledge before moving to the next level of complexity. A house built on a rocky foundation won't survive the first tremor. Also, try to help them isolate the most important information for them to learn first each day. Do they need to know everything about a topic, just the risks, standard procedures or what in particular? They will fill in gaps as they go.

CHALLENGE - They will most likely be as frustrated as you, if not more!

Nobody wants to do something badly and people who are struggling with a new task or skill will most likely be uncomfortable with not being good at this particular thing. Especially if they are normally a high performer. You getting frustrated isn't going to help and may cause an overflow of emotions that could damage your relationship.

IDEA 2 - Focus on helping them breaking the learning process down into smaller pieces and compliment them on what they do well to help them keep momentum. Encourage them to take sufficient time to replenish themselves with good food, sleep and company. Cognitive studies have shown that we can only focus for about 40 minutes at any one time, and that continued long term performance demands actually degrade performance. So the burning of the midnight oil isn't helping them learn. Compliment them on what they've achieved that day and talk about where they are at in the context of the bigger picture. Agree what you would like them to focus on tomorrow based on progress today.

CHALLENGE - you may be under extra pressure whilst they are learning.

Demands on you may stack up because they are not delivering at full capacity yet. We often find that situation with someone who isn't quite up to speed that our boss, partner or team lean on us to pick up the slack. This is turn can impact on us, causing greater frustration and fatigue on our part.

IDEA 3 - Anticipate this. Have the conversations you need to have to manage your own workload. Be mature in explaining that you have a person you are working with who is learning a lot and therefore you will be spending time with them in conjunction with whatever you normally do. Be open, honest and remove surprises from occurring with any key people in your world before they become issues.

These are just three challenges and ideas that can occur when you have a new learner in your midst. Taking some human compassion, kindness and awareness of what they are going through will definitely help however.

And so, hasta pronto mis amigos!

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